I remember when....

Let's all say thank you to Jen and Mama Kat for hosting these wonderful events known as ATWT and Writer's Workshop.

Mama Kat's prompt I chose was "I remember when..." so without further delay,

I remember when I was jet-setting about the world, dining in the finest restaraunts and flying in private planes.



I remember going scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef.



I remember kayaking down the Amazon river and getting captured by a native tribe but was able to live after charming the chieftain and becoming an honorary member of the tribe.



I remember flying off to Jupiter in the spacecraft I built in my own garage to save a damsel in distress.



I remember when I fought off hordes of mutant, carnivorous creatures in an abandoned shack in the woods with only my wits and one small knife.



I remember when I could wake up from those dreams without the sleep lines on my face lasting for 6 hours!

BFF weird thoughts

Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys.

I wonder just how many unfinished projects I have going on. 4? 6? I'm afraid it's more around the dozen mark.

I'm lurking around facebook these days, don't say much but enough here and there so people remember that I am actually there. It's really strange suddenly being 'friends' with people in high school that knew OF me but certainly didn't 'know' me. Ya know?

I really wish I was one of those get up and go people. I'm afraid I'm going to look back one day and say I wish I had....

I'm still in my funk. (Yes, Mom, I'm taking my meds...mostly)

My laptop is starting to mess up. I'm getting worried. Like I'm going to have to take it to the doctor but I don't really want to because I might get some bad news and do things that I don't want to do like eat right and exercise.

I like visual cartoons. Like this one.

Post 100. Pill Bugs. Imagination. And a little about Me.

Well, here I am. I made it to number 100. I had been thinking earlier in the week just what was I going to do to celebrate this milestone. I've now tossed out all of my previous ideas and I'm just gonna rattle on for a bit. Blame it on the wine. My glass is full (again).



I'm the oldest of 5 kids. Yes, my mother must have gone a wee bit insane. Actually a LOT insane considering that the first 4 of us were all born in 6 years. That just makes the ole vahjayjay clench up don't it?! (BTW, I have NO idea who this woman is but I have seen this exact same expression on my mother's face!)



When I was a kid...I had the weirdest imagination. I could 'SEE' farts. There were the zippy little quick ones. They zoomed around the room, would bounce off people. The worst were the long, sloooow, mushy sounding ones. They kinda oozed outta people's shorts and were a drippy looking green. Sometimes they even had different colors mashed up in 'em also. Bleh. My family would often even ask me, "What's that one looking like Shawn?" And I'd tell them. I was just the nutty little kid.



I also had a very definite conscience. I wish he looked like Jiminy Cricket. I mean how cool would THAT have been.



Instead, my conscience was a blue-uniformed police officer that stood in a lifeguards tower and blew his whistle when I started doing something that I wasn't supposed to do. He was really a pain! He'd just keep on blowing that whistle until I finally stopped. Can we say 'juvenile schizophrenia'? ::snort:: (Yeah, that pic has some sort of 'do not steal' thingie across it but, but, it was PERFECT!)



My middle sister though, she's the most like me as far as sense of humor goes. She's freakin' Hi-larious so of course I think she's the most like me! ::snicker:: Seriously though, I wish she'd get her butt back to blogging a little more frequently cause I miss the way she makes me laugh.



I do have to confess one thing that I did to her as a child though. Ya'll remember those pill bugs? I called 'em rolie polies. I gathered up a handful one day. (In Oklahoma they are under any rock you pick up.) I tossed 'em in a bowl and swirled it around. Those little bugs just curl right up and roll around as cute as you please.



Then I told her she had to eat her peas. She didn't really want to but I told her she HAD to or she was gonna get in 'Big Trouble'. She ate em. My mom caught me. Guess who was the one that ended up in 'Big Trouble'? Heh.



Okay, I'll show you a little better. Here's a REAL picture of a pill bug instead of that little cartoony one which makes 'em look cute. I was so bad.



So that's about it. A long, weird, rambling post for my number 100. I'm blaming it on the wine but actually it's just me. All me. Only me. Bwahahahahaha!

I've figured out my funk! But knowing the reason is probably worse!

As some of you know, I'm pretty much the only female in a house full of testosterone. And a couple of wanna-be testoterone filled boys.

I walked through the house last night and I was assailed by various 'aromas'.



The first one was fairly mild. The trash needed to be taken out.



Then I ran across the dog. He really needs a bath.



The various thrown about socks here and there left their own little clouds of olfactory gifts in the air as well.



My husband's shoes about drove me out of the family room. The cat should have followed me.



Although the cat has her own issues to add to this.



I don't even want to talk about the bathroom and my boy's inability to turn just their heads while peeing. Think about that one for a sec.



I think I'm going to take over the guest room and fill it with sweet candles and lavender scented sheets and my laptop and my Kindle and my crafts. I wonder if I can get my meals delivered?

Oh yeah, It's Monday.

So, I'm creeping up on my 100th post. A milestone. An "I've stuck it out this long and people haven't thrown rocks at me yet" moment.

What shall I do to celebrate it?


A giveaway?



A funny story?



Pictures of gorgeous men to drool over?



Actually, I find myself in a bit of a funk just now. Perhaps I'll just crawl into bed, make some popcorn and find a good movie.

I'm not the only one that has weeks days like this right?

I'm your BFF! Again!

I'm totally liking this whole BFF thing. Don't know what BFF is? Where ya been? Under a rock? Sheesh. Go over to Jaci's blog and check it out already. Just don't call her Jaycee...she hates that. It's pronounced Jacki...which I totally know since I'm one of her very bestest friends. She just doesn't know that yet. But she will, I have her phone number now...and her cell number....and her address....and I know what she drives....muahahahahaha! Oooohhh, I almost scared myself there for a moment! Hah!

She defines it as:

Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys.

Cool right? Right. I thought so too. Great minds really do think alike don't they?

I really wanna come up with one of those linky things and then I can be one of the popular girls instead of one of the poopular ones. Heh. That cracks me up. I know, humor quotient level of a 9 year old. I blame it on my pre-teen boys. I laugh at farts too (mine anyway). I give 'em the old stink-eye when it's them doing it.

I particularly laugh out loud when I delicately pass just a little gas but I'm sitting on my wooden chair and it sounds like a machine gun straight out of the 1920's gangster wars and it scares my dog out of a sound sleep and he jumps up, barks, spins around and heads downstairs to hide. I literally laugh out loud.

Didn't know that I took Blog 'Fart' Friday so literally didja?

It's amazing to watch the progression of excuses when a child doesn't want to go to bed. From the utilitarian like "I forgot to brush my teeth" or "I need to go to the bathroom" to the needy like "I need a drink of water" or "I forgot to give you a bedtime hug" to the downright pitiful "My stomach hurts" or "I had a bad dream". I particularly love the last one when it's only been 2.6 minutes since the last time they were up.

I love wine. I think I have about a half-bottle in the frig. I'm gonna go check.

Hey, everyone check out my groupies bloggy love mosh pit over there...I've gotten 7 new moshers this week! Woohoo! Actually, it's been 3 months since I started this thing. It's 'bout damn time I'm starting to be idolized collect more of you cute little things. Ya'll are better than beanie babies a big tub of buttered popcorn (and I LOVE my buttered popcorn!)

Oh, you have to click on the 'you're next' thing so a window pops up to show you who's doing BFF. You don't have to sign on any dotted lines or anything, just pop up the window. Don't worry though, I already whined told her about it. I'm bitchy good like that.

I'm not Ragin Hormone, I swear I'm not!

That darn Snarkiness! She's always messing with me! I will admit that I used to have a bit of a hormonal side but ever since Shawn has been taking that lovely little blue on blue hormone pill, there has hardly been a bit of 'ragin' going on.

I'm just simply Emotional, that's all. Lovely and simple. You know what else is lovely and simple? My cat Cupcake. She was just a half-drowned, half-dead little kitten that someone just tossed out before she was even old enough to eat on her own. We found her in the front yard...couldn't even see because her eye infections were so bad. Now she's my nap buddy. So sweet!

Hey! Who left the ketchup on the dining room table? Again! Oh, great. There's the mustard to keep it company. It's a regular condiment mosh pit, I tell ya!

Why doesn't anyone pick up after themselves? Why am I the one that gets stuck doing the real cleaning? Waaaaahh! I wanna be rich and have a housekeeper and a chef and a personal trainer....and....and...:::sniff::::...and I want a world that doesn't tear itself apart and I want...oh, hell, I don't even really know what I want.

I'm going to get a glass of wine and curl up and watch Lifetime Movies all day long.

All my love,
Shawn's Emotional side (NOT aka Ragin Hormone)

Now you are ALL mine!

Mine I say! Mine! Muahahahahaha!

I knew that if I kept it up long enough that party-pooper Sanity would finally just give up and take off. Like it did. Loser.

Which means I AM THE WINNER! Sing it with me! Iiiii aamm thuuuh weiner! Winner winner chicken dinner!

I feel like dressing up like Bette Midler in that witch show she was in and start singing "I put a spell on you...and now you're mii-ine!" Then all my neighbors can get all dressed up and put on Madonna boobs and dance all night long. In the street, so I can see them whenever I want to.

Hey! No! Go away! This is MY time to rule! Gotta run, Ragin Hormone is making a power play.

Love ya'll,
Shawn's Snarkiness.

Ciao!

My dearest Shawn,

We've had good times and bad together but honestly I'm ready for a break. We've been together for 45 years already (except for those couple of years before college when you kicked me out) and I'm ready to just take a little me-time.

I'll let you know when I return.

Love,
Your Sanity.

I'm gonna be a BFF

Blog Farts – noun. Def: Crappy ideas that are too short to make a real blog post, but when combined, join forces to make one unified, albeit half assed, post. see also: memes, surveys.

Yep, Jaci has started up Blog Fart Friday, which is totally up my alley since that is generally about all my mind does most of the time.


I think this is the first year in about 10 years that I actually got my Christmas stuff down before Easter. Of course, that was only cause Da Man started doing it and he just can't put things away the way I want things put away so that meant that I had to do it or put up with him doing it and I just couldn't do that.

Yeah, I totally talk like that in real life also.


Why does there always seem to be some sort of condiment sitting on my dining room table? I'm staring at a bottle of ketchup right now.


I would KILL to have an Alice from the Brady Bunch in my life. I would be a happy and well-adjusted woman if I only had an Alice.


I crack myself up when I comment on other people's blogs. I'm only sorry that all of you don't get to read all of me. It's really your loss. Really.


How in the world did the whole Easter Bunny thing even come to be? I get chocolate, cause who doesn't want another day when eating chocolate is encouraged, but eggs and bunnies. Someone was out drinking late when that one was born!


Gilles' wife? I could take her down in an instant. Just gravity would do it.

Uh Oh! Everyone look out!

I've had an aneurysm a tumor a headache for two days now...and I have to work!



I'm either going to freak out or curl up in a fetal position and hide get very quiet.



I think I need drugs a vacation.

P.S. Does anyone have any good headache remedies. I've tried Ibuprofen, Excedrin, caffeinated drinks, sleep, soaking in a tub... It's right on top of my head so it doesn't seem to be sinus-related and it's not a migraine...but dang, it sure is a pain in the scalp!

The thing kids say!

I've slept most of the day and am going back to sleep again soon but just HAD to post this right quick.

Honest to God, my son Alien said this to me today during a bit of snuggle time.

"Mom, your armpits smell like roses compared to Magnets."

He smiled lovingly at me, so pleased with his compliment.

I love that kid.

Some of my favorite stolen things

Pictures, I mean.

I'm a total picture thief but the worst part is..it doesn't really even bother me.

I'm tired and have a rotten headache so here are some pictures that I've come across that I just love. I rotate them as my computer background sometimes.


This one is my current background, I just love this dog's face. I keep thinking he's really looking right at me, hoping that I'll show him how to get back down.


The cat in this one just makes it for me. He's sooo planning something.




Is this just not the sweetest thing? Poor little skinny puppy, I'm so glad that cat let him cuddle up.


There are packs...and then there are leaders.



These pictures just cheer me up and make my head feel better. That's what I keep telling myself anyway.


This one cheers me up too.

Humor equals intelligence!

Isn't it nice when there is research that backs up just how smart we all are?

I mean WE know it but it's nice to have everyone know it also.

Apparently having a good sense of humor means we are intelligent and can find humor in a situation, relay that information in such a way that others find it funny...which means we are a bunch of MENSA bloggers! Woot!

Tomorrow, I'm on the ballot for the school board. I've been filling in a vacant position now for about 6 months and I actually like it.

Does that make me a big fish in a small pond?



Does this mean that I need to be on time and responsible?



Does this mean I need to be studious and start wearing glasses?



Nah, I think I might not talk about my blog very much in the community though! Bwahahahaha!