Friday, February 27, 2009

Is this normal or is it just me?

I always wonder just how bad of a housekeeper am I? So in the interest of full disclosure and hoping that I get some feedback, here is my dining room table at 2 am on Thursday night. Or early Friday morning, whichever floats your boat.

Now, I wish my table was nice and clean and had a pretty centerpiece on it. It does when I'm doing what I do, this is what it looks like when the 'boys' (including my husband) do what they do.

So what I want to know is this? What is on YOUR tables at 2 am? Mine has a full glass of milk left, several trivets, an iron, my purse, 2 remotes, a book, a paper plate, a flashlight, scissors and a pen down there by my purse. I also have chairs splayed all around and about a million handprints on the glass doors leading outside.

We are not going to investigate my laundry room. I can't get that real.

Spelling Bee 101

Yep, it was time for the county spelling bee. Actually, it's the elementary and middle school spelling bee but since our county has such a small population, it's also the county spelling bee. So school, town and county spelling champ all in one shot!

Alien was so excited this year. It's the first year he was eligible and he was pumped! Magnet was very laid back this year. Didn't even go over any quiz words or anything. He has done this 2 previous times ya know...he's a well-experienced bee-er that has been around the block more than once!

The kids competing were 4th through 8th grade. Altogether 59 kids were lined up to compete and they were all given a practice word to begin with. Magnet sailed through his word with 'place'. Piece of cake. Alien has nervous as he stepped to the microphone but got 'month' without a hitch.

Okay, now time for the real thing. Round 1 has commenced and there are a few casualties. Magnet steps up to the microphone. His word is 'temper'. He spells out T. E. M. P. U. R. E.

Huh? This is my kiddo that had a 10th grade reading level in the 2nd grade? I think he was just a bit too laid back this year. He's giving me this look cause I'm getting onto him about picking his new wires on his braces. Don't even ask me about his wires and brackets and how many extra trips we have to take back to the dentist. He's lucky he's still alive right now.

So back to the bee. Alien's word is 'graze'. G R A Z E. Easy peasey. Round 2 comes around and kids are starting to drop like flies. Alien's word is 'nurse'. His sentence was "Your mother is a nurse at the hospital." People around me snickered cause shore'nuff, I'm a nurse at the hospital. Again, the kid got it right.

Round 3. His word is 'platoon'. Now this one is a bit tougher for him and I didn't know if he had seen this one before. He spells P L U T I N E. Down he goes but he gave it a good shot. He was pretty bummed at first.

Then he remembered that he had gotten farther than his brother. All was right in the world after all. Just an FYI, a 4th grader ended up winning the bee, for the first time in our county's history! I wish I had a video of how excited the 4th grade class was. The boys were all pumping their arms with every correctly spelled word! It was pretty awesome. I love small towns.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

You'll never look at a lumber yard the same!

This isn't quite a Code Springer, it's more in the land of OMG! I can't believe that actually happened!

Way back and forever ago, I was such a nice young nurse. Very sweet, very caring. It's rather amazing how much more obnoxious we get (or maybe it's just me) as we get more experienced in the nursing field. Personally, I blame it on the doctor's we have to work with. There are great ones, don't get me wrong, but boy oh boy, there are some real doozies also. Anyway, I digress.

I worked with this Jamaican nurse who had been trained in England. The most fabulous accent. Gawd, I could have listened to her talk all day. She was a very experienced nurse. She would say absolutely anything to anybody. She used to pull the OB/Gyn's scrub pants up when he was bent over and showing a plumber's crack. Yep. And this was even in the day when we were supposed to give up our seat if the Doctor (capital D you notice) showed up. I really liked her.

So, to my story. Picture a 300+ pound woman in labor. I have nothing against big women. Hell, I'm turning into one myself I'm afraid. Gah..but that's another story that requires lots and lots of alcohol.

This big woman has this little stick of a husband. Isn't it odd how that seems to happen? But this woman is so big that it takes Three of us just to check her for dilation. Yep, one pulling up one thigh, the other holding up the other thigh, while the nurse actually checking her digs in her feet and shoves up the belly flap so she can get to where she needs to go.

You all picturing this right? Disturbing, I know. I apologize.

Jamaican nurse is the one doing the actual checking and she looks at this woman and says "Honey, it takes three of us to just check you. How in the world did you even get pregnant?"

I about died. Remember, I was shy and sweet back then. Now, I probably would have asked the same thing.

It didn't faze this lady in the least. In fact, she was quite open about how this actually occurred.

"Oh, that's easy. I covered a piece of wood with fabric and when we are ready to have sex, I just put the wood under my belly and pull it up."

Of course, that left the thigh problem but my imagination quickly filled in the skinny little husband just wedging himself in there to do the deed.

So now I ask you, do you think the smell of cedar was a turn on? Does this give new meaning to the term 'morning wood'?

Do you think you'll ever walk through a lumber yard again without thinking of this story?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A letter from home

Dear Shawn,

I miss you. Don’t you love me anymore? I remember the days when you used to wander through my rooms dreaming of things that we could do together. Ways to grow and improve. Projects that we would tackle together. Have you forgotten all of our plans?

You used to vacuum me at least once a week and let’s not forget those incredible dusting sessions. You would lovingly run your hands across my sills, counters and sometimes even my baseboards! I loved that. I miss that.

Yes, yes, I hear you talking about how you are working and that the whole family is supposed to be caring for me now, but things just aren’t the same. I try to love those boys but they climb on my banisters and are always slamming my doors. You know how I hate having my doors slammed.

I hope that we can work this out. I don’t want things to get nasty. I don’t want to do this but I’m forced to say that if you don’t start caressing me again as only you can do, I’ll have to start emitting odors from hard to find places. I might have to clog a few sinks and let mice back into the house. Do not force me to throw some breakers here.

I love you. I want you back. You know the males in this house just don’t clean me like you do. I’ll be waiting patiently for you.


Your forgiving though filthy house.

Just call me a pimp! Wowza!

And I will pimp my everlovin' heart out. Oh yes I will.

So anyone that stumbled across me, yes you, the one that accidentally clicked to get here and is now groaning loudly enough that I can hear you in Kansas. Yes, I can hear you. Get your butts straight over to Kate, the wonder Country Girl.

You see, she has this super awesome giveaway thing going on with these super awesome photos that she took and I strained my brain for 14 WHOLE minutes going over all of them to come up with the one I like. And I really like it. I really like that other one too..but no, I'm sticking with that first one. I think.

Anyway, if I pimp for her, I get an extra shot! Woohoo! Weehee! DeedleDoDah Unh!

Is turning me into a pimp illegal? Just asking.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I've found my perfect place!

Well, once I finish getting the hang of it that is. The Girl You Don't Bring Home to Momma posted her results of this little quiz on her blog. She would have been a cartographer. I know. Weird. Who'da thunk THAT was what she'd be! Anyway, she peaked my curiosity and I just had to see what my medieval profession would have been.

I was hoping it wasn't going to be the Village Idiot.

Here's my results, minus the lovely fonts and spacing that the actual page had because I haven't yet figured out how to bring that back over here. Just read already, it says I'd be a wordsmith, not a magician! Geez Louise.

What's Your Medieval Profession?
You Are a Playwright

You are a highly literate wordsmith. You love both reading and writing.
You are also a natural storyteller. You can turn a mediocre anecdote into a riveting tale.

You find people and all aspects of life fascinating. No topic is off limits for you.
In modern times, you would make a good filmmaker or novelist.

Soo, fast forward that into the 'communication' age and voila! You have a blogger!

Yay, no wonder that fingers fit this keyboard so well. No wonder that my brain just fizzes with ideas of things to do. No wonder my butt...never mind.

Now, I'm off to catch up on everyone else's minutia of their lives, gripes, joys, dramas and laughs in their own blogs!

Fare Thee Well all ye Lords and Ladies!

Oh for cryin' out loud!

I started off this morning so good. I saw my children off to school and didn't even yell at them once! I ran the dishwasher and got my kitchen all spic and span. I even got a roast out and started percolating it in the trusty old crockpot.

So here I sit, going over all these lovely blogs I follow and eating a slice of pumpkin bread when all of a sudden...

I get this feeling.

Like I've forgotten something.

Don't you hate that feeling?

When I glance over and see this.

I think I'm going to go back to bed now. I'm too young for Alzheimer's right? Hello? Did I turn this thing on?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Shawn needs.....

Mental P Mama put this meme on her blog that tells you to put your name followed by 'needs' in google and then list the first 10 things that come up. It's quite funny what happens. Here's mine:

1. Shawn needs to decide who she wants to spend her life with. Nope, already did that!

2. Shawn needs to thermodynamically crystallize. That's just what I was thinking!

3. Shawn needs to pee. Duh!

4. Shawn needs to communicate her wants. On a daily basis!

5. Shawn needs 5000 cakes!! Oh I really really need those?

6. Shawn needs to improve education. I'm trying already! Sheesh, I'm on the school board for Pete's sake.

7. Shawn needs ecological research. Yes I do! I'm going to be the one that figures out the ecological answers and all mankind will bow down before me! Muahahaha!

8. Shawn needs multi-angle remote sensing data. For that ecological research..

9. Shawn needs help in changing the batteries. Damn, that remote sensor is tricky!

10. Shawn needs to question why the City needs this service. What? The city doesn't think we need it?!

Hehehe, that was fun. Once I started commenting on them, I was surprised about how they seemed to relate. Thanks Mental P!

Pet Peeve #247

Okay, I find myself the only woman in a house of various ages of the male variety.

Am I the only one that has figured out that if you don't rinse off MOST of the crap that is on the dishes BEFORE you put them in, that the crap will just fly around inside there and dry into cement on the most hard to scrape off spot that can be found?

I mean..come on! We don't have the ultra deluxe souped up fantabulous dishwasher with 8 million spray jets and a garbage disposal built in and little elves that pop in and make sure every dish is sparkling clean when the cycle is finished.

Sometimes they do the dishes, sometimes they even put them up. 99.5% of the time that those two things occur, it is followed with me taking down dish after dish after glass after glass with dried on stuck on whoknowswhat on it.

I am so tempted to work an extra shift a week and hire a housekeeper! It totally defeats the point of having the 'whole family' help keep up with chores around the house, but it sure would do wonders for my blood pressure!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Another quick Code Springer

Of course there was the time that Woman in Labor - Amy showed up with PoDunk boyfriend.

During the course of filling out the paperwork, (that darn paperwork), we discovered that PoDunk had the same information that Woman in Labor - Becky had given us earlier.

Anticipating that this could be a problem, me and the other labor nurse devised a system so that we would alternate times walking in the hall to avoid a potential Woman in Labor - Amy/Becky brawl.

We shouldn't have worried. PoDunk discovered Becky and was thrilled to run between ex-girlfriend Becky's room and current girl-friend Amy's room while they were both in labor with his children.

The girls were sweet. PoDunk was missing some teeth.

We called a Code Springer

Friday, February 20, 2009

Code Springer

Code Red - Fire

Code Blue - Cardiac Arrest

Code Black - Disaster of some sort

Nurses, paramedics, medical people in general..we have lots of 'Code' names. The ones above, you probably have heard at some point. The one you haven't is Code Springer.

A Code Springer is called when there is a situation occurring in the hospital (or 'on the floor' in nurse-speak) that is worthy of a Jerry Springer show. You would be surprised how often this happens.

I've decided to start sharing the odd story here and there with you, my readers. Because if I have to live with these in my head, then you do too.

Now before anyone starts going all crazy and yelling about HIPPA (health information patient privacy act or something along those lines) let me just tell ya that I have been a nurse for almost 24 years in 4 different states including major metropolises so no one is going to know who, where or when any of these occurred. Names will be changed to protect the guilty. I just couldn't bring myself to say innocent. Well, see for yourself.

A young woman was in labor. Her first child. A really big guy was with her and was doing quite well being supportive during her labor pains. We began discussing what her expectations were so that we could try to provide the best experience we could. Nurses are generally kinda weird that way. We like to help.

We also start on various paperwork while things are in the early stages...start filling out parental information on birth certificates, things like that. I asked 'dad' for some of his information.

Woman: "Oh no, he's not the father."

Okay, things like that happen. No problem. She is married though so I need her husbands information for the paperwork.

Woman: "Do you need my husband's information or the father of baby? And I don't want that man in here you know."

Me: "Which one do you not want in here?"

Woman: "Actually, I don't want either one in here. But the father is getting out of jail today and he'll probably find out that I'm in here."

Me: "Interesting. Does you husband know that you are here?"

It turns out that this woman was still currently married, had affair with guy #1, gotten pregnant, had affair with guy #2, they fought and guy #1 beats the crap out of guy #2, guy #1 is thrown in jail, guy #2 decides beating wasn't worth it and leaves, husband discovers that he's probably not the father, she goes into labor with current guy #3 on the day that guy #1 is due out of jail. Guy #3 tells me not to worry because if he shows up, he'll take care of him himself. Yeah, that made me feel better.

Code Springer was called.

The story ends with jail guy not showing up, husband showing up and begging for wife to come back to him, no sign of guy #2, guy #3 in and out, just missing husband and falling in love with a baby that isn't his. I still look for them when I click past Jerry sometimes.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

My sisters and Sistahs!

Let me tell ya about my Sistahs.

Three years ago last Christmas, my sisters had a fight. Not a brawl but an all-out email, phone call fight. My internet was down for a week during this time so I basically was left out of it..thank goodness! By the time I was back in cyberspace, everyone was making up and deciding that we need to all get together for just some Sister-Time. No husbands, no kids. We were only seeing each other at major holidays and it is always so hectic then that it wasn't like we were really SEEING each other. Ya know what I mean?

So our Sister Trip was born. The 4 of us went to Florida that first year and spent a long weekend with a great friend of ours, Chief Chick. It was fabulous. Her husband and son were very welcoming also and we lounged around their pool, drank waaay too much, ate fabulously and laughed our asses off almost the entire time. Chief Chick was adopted at that point as an honorary Sistah. (She also threatened to kill us if we didn't include her in any future sister trips!)

The following year we expanded on the Sistah Trip idea and decided everyone was responsible to invite one person. A low-maintenance, no-drama, cussin', drinking, smart ass woman. No kids, no penises allowed. We rented a beach house on Dauphin Island off the coast of Alabama and had one of the best times I have ever had in my life.

What brought all of this up is not only are we in the process of planning our upcoming Sistah Trip this May, but one of my Sistahs sent me a bracelet that I had admired at our last trip and I received it today. I don't have my camera with me since I'm at work right now but will post a pic of it later.

She had this wonderful card with it saying that she had purchased it at the end of the last trip but had promptly lost it when she got home. She was cleaning out her dresser not long ago and came across it and so she sent it to me. I'm so truly touched. It's a beautiful little bracelet that reminds me of the beach and the ocean.

So this post is in honor of my Sistahs. My chosen family. Women that are just like me. We forget things, lose things, wonder how many days of future therapy are we inflicting upon our children! We drink, cuss, laugh and if one of us is having a bad time of it..we tell them that "whew, I thought my life sucked but yours is much worse!" And then we pour them a drink. We would all definitely show up with shovels if one of us killed a husband and then decide if any of the others needed killing also. We are protective of each other. We are real.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A New Family I Love More!

Why do we do this? Blogging, I mean.

Do we do it for the sheer joy of keeping family members updated on our children? Do we do it to make other people laugh out loud at some of our silly memories? Do we do it for the money? No. No. And Gawd, I wish that was the case.

We do it for the comments most of the time. In the hospital, I'm an adrenaline junkie. I love the rush of emergencies. In cyberspace, I'm a comment junkie.

Yes, I hear you all out there muttering..."But Shawn, you've only been blogging for a month for Pete's sake! What were you expecting? To be P-Dub in no time flat?"

Umm. Yeah, actually! I never said I had realistic expectations! Just ask my previous husbands! On second thought, don't ask them. They lie.

I just trying to put a little flame to the feet of those that KNOW me, you know, the family and friends that I originally started this for. The ones that I see peeking in on a regular basis. The ones that NEVER leave me comments. And 'But Shawn, I left one for you 3 weeks ago' doesn't count.

So my new family is Staci and Snooty. You two consistently read me AND comment and I love you for it! So make space on your mantle for my picture because I am nominating myself as part of your family and I'm adopting you are part of mine. The part that (for right now) I'm loving more than my own.

Ha! So there ya go fam damily! Whatcha think of that!

P.S. Have I mentioned that I never did get my wine from the other night..and I'm having to work an extra shift...and I'm not losing weight like I wanted...and I'm on the cranky side right now? I didn't? Did you already figure that part out?

Monday, February 16, 2009

What a day! Alien's birthday!

I can't believe my baby is 10 years old. That means I definitely can't blame my weight on him anymore. Drat and double drat.

This year he got to choose 2 friends to accompany him on an out-of-town fun trip. Since our town is only 600 people, if you want to do anything fun, it's pretty much out of town. He chose Steven and Katie. They had a blast!

We spent the majority of the afternoon at the skating rink where they skated their hearts out.

Of course, it took a few times around the rink before they got their 'skating legs'.

Before we hit the rink, we headed to Pizza Hut. Nothing beats pizza on your birthday except pizza on your birthday with your best friend!

Even better, pizza on your birthday with your best friend WHILE making faces at your mom! I told them their faces would freeze that way and they did! Didn't wear off until after the waitress walked away with a very odd expression on her own face. Must have been catching.

Friend presents came during skating.

And cotton candy. I'm a glutton for punishment when it comes to trapping myself all day with 3 ten year olds on a huge sugar rush.

After skating, we hit Granny's house for cupcakes and milk. Went to McDonalds and picnicked at the park where they were able to run off some of that sugar they had consumed. No pictures though, I left my spare batteries on the kitchen counter. Nicely charged up though. That's partial credit right?

Then back home again after a very loooonng hour long ride home. Alien was so jazzed up that his voice volume did not have a 'lower' to it at all. Louder and louder and louder. I dreamed of my wine all the way back.

Kids are dropped off and we are back home again. For the final round of the 'birthday show'.

The real cake. With TEN candles on it. Double digits dude! A whole decade! Wow..umm.. damn..why did I say that? I feel really old now.

Then our presents which the big prize of the evening was a tie between the new Nintendo DS 'briefcase' with lots of extra supplies in it or the remote control boat that his grandparents got him. He's looking forward to using that on our lake before long. Preferable when it is warm enough to get into the water to rescue the boat from wherever he strands it at!

Well, that was my day. How was yours?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentine's day Someone Special Tag

Jason at The Jason Show kinda sort tagged me with this (in the same way he was kinda sorta tagged I think)! I thought it was a good way to love up on my hubby so I grabbed it.

Here's the card that he got me for Valentine's Day. He usually gets me serious cards and this year it's humorous and I love it! It shows a man doing various things during the card and says:

For My Wife on Valentine's Day
When something needs doing,
I don't always do it...
When something needs fixing,
I don't hop right to it... this part is very true! ;o)

When the checkbook's a mess,
I may throw a fit...
When the going gets tough,
I've been known to quit... this part isn't accurate, but I enjoy the rhyme

When I shampoo and shave,
I may splash up the floor...
And the junk I collect
may spoil our decor... Very true! just wait until I tell you guys about his junk!

When I start off each day,
I don't always smile...
When we step out to dine,
it may not be in style... Yep, diners, buffets but we DO go out and I'm not complainin'!
I may have my faults,
but one thing's sure true...
I did something right
when I married You! Aww, how sweet!

Love, Da Man

1. Husband's name: Dan aka Da Man

2. How long have you been married? 2 1/2 years

3. How long did you date? 1 1/2 years

4. How old is he? coming up on 52nd birthday

5. Who eats more sweets? He does. I go in spurts with chocolate candy but he's consistent, especially with ice cream.

6. Who is the better singer? He is. I can make dogs howl, he's in the community choir.

7. Who is smarter? Ohh..quite the question. He's the first man I've ever been with that I can honestly say is intellectually smarter than I am. I think I'm smarter socially and emotionally...does that make sense?

8. Who does the laundry? We all do our own. Even getting the kids to start doing their own also. I tend to do the extras..towels and linens.

9. Who pays the bills? He does. Thank goodness. I hate dealing with bills, insurance. Bleh.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me. I'm deaf in my left ear and this way I can sleep on my 'good' ear while being able to stick various body parts out into the cold air while I'm bundled up under the covers! It works great, I often don't hear storms, snoring, the various rustles of the night (or day!)

11. Who mows the lawn? He does, but now that The Dude is living with us, he might be doing some of that now.

12. Who cooks dinner? We split it. I tend to cook on the weekends. He cooks 3 of the weeknights and The Dude has 2 nights that he works on his cooking skills.

13. Who drives? We both drive our own vans. Mine is took over a month before I let him drive it also! lol

14. Who is the first to say they are wrong? I am. Honestly, I hate to say this. He's rarely wrong. So, I've gotten better at it.

15. Who kissed who first? It was a mutual 'lean-in'.

16. Who asked who out first? I asked him out..three times before he said yes! He had good excuses why he couldn't go each time which is why I kept trying, but had decided after three times that I had reached my limit. He called me and asked me out for our first actual date.

17. Who wears the pants? Good question. Actually I think we are both in shorts. We make decisions equally, he generally takes the lead in financial decisions and I take the lead in social decisions. We talk things over and come to an agreement. That's the way it should be right?

Hmm..I'm glad that I did this, makes me realize what a great guy I have. 'Bout damn time, took me three tries to find him! I tossed two other hubs back into the sea before I found this keeper!

Feel free to take this meme if you'd like. It's a bit of a free-for-all.

Does it get any better?'s early and dark and quiet in the house. All the children and the husband are still asleep. The cat is purring at my feet. The coffee is hot and made with french vanilla creamer just the way I like it.

I think the still of the morning, the calm before the storm of the day...that's the best time to realize just how lucky we are. I have a starring role in this family of ours and while it has had it's ups and downs, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Thinking of my dad...

My dad has been on my mind lately. He's my stepfather legally but in every way that really matters, he's my dad. A post by Snooty Primadona got me thinking about some of the stuff that he did when I was a teenager still living at home.

Let me preface these by showing you my dad. He's one of those hard-working men who looks older than he actually is. He married my mom after knowing her for 3, yes, THREE weeks and she already had 4, yes, FOUR daughters! He was only 26 years old. We turned him gray-headed in two years flat.

I have three stories I want to share. The first is how protective he was, the second is the 'dad' story of when he flat out caught me doing wrong, and the last is when he was having fun but embarrased the crapola out of me. I still laugh to think of the last one.

I was 11 when they got married and by the time that boys were interested in me, boys were interested in several of my younger sisters as well. He was the only man in the house until my little brother was born and sorry bro, but baby boys don't really count in the man-count. Anyway, as the various stud-muffins of our little town would drop by to pick us up, my dad would very oddly pick that very time to clean his shotgun in the living room. He wouldn't ever say much..just clean his gun..stare at the boy that was brave enough to cross into the entryway..and ask him if knew how to tell time. "I expect her back by 11:00." That was it but let me tell ya, it was certainly 'nuff said ya know what I mean?! I actually felt bad for those guys...not that it was what lead me to sneaking outta the house later to meet these boys a couple of years later. Oh..did I actually type that out-loud? Oh well, I'm 45. I can't get grounded now. Right? Right?

Another time that is engraved in my memory is when I was at a wrestling match with some friends of mine and we decided to go 'cruise first street'. That of course is the primary socializing activity for my small hometown in Kansas. I wasn't supposed to leave the wrestling match though. And of course..what always happens when you are doing something you aren't supposed to do? Yep, you drive right past your dad going the opposite direction and see him do a U-turn in the rear-view mirror. At this point, my incredibly quick thinking friends yelled "Lose him"! I immediately turned into a shortcut through the hospital parking lot and hit the gas. I veered through there and came out the back street. I made a few more quick turns and lo and behold! there he was again! Right behind us! I made one more quick turn...and I should tell you now that we had a big snowstorm a day or so before...the car slid on the snow and ice and headed nose-first into a big snowbank. I was stuck. It was total silence in that car. My dad stopped his truck behind me and when he got out..I swear to God, the man was 9 foot tall! He walked up, opened the door and said "Get in the truck now." Me and my two girlfriends scrambled out and into his truck, the silence continued. He drove back to the high school where 4 more words were spoken. "Get out. Not you." My friends looked at my like they knew they would never see me again. I didn't think I'd ever be seen again. He drove me home and again he spoke. "Give me your driver's license." I did. I got out and he drove off. I knew my execution was delayed long enough for him to think about which method would derive the most amount of torture for me.
He apparently drove to my mom's shop and told her what happened while shaking my license in the air. He wanted to burn it then and there. She laughed. Yes, my dear mother who loves me more than anything, laughed. I think that probably didn't help my cause at that point. She had told him earlier that I was going to the match and than she had told me that I could go get a drink in town if I wanted. She didn't tell me that but she told him that. But..I panicked and tried to outrun him, thereby sealing my fate and future execution. Needless to say, I did survive that incident and did eventually get my license back. I think I was grounded about 2 months and didn't have my car the whole time. He became a legend in my school.

My last story that I want to tell you about is when he embarrassed me. Back in the day, you could be 18 to go into a bar. My mom bartended for a short time at one of the local nightclubs and I'd go in to see her now and then. One weekend night I was there chatting with her and a bunch of the locals. My dad was there also and there was quite the party going on. I was out dancing and having lots of fun when I realized that my dad was out dancing with one of my parent's friends also. My dad can't dance. Let me restate that..the man cannot dance. To make matters worse, a neighbor at the bar is laughing at his dancing antics and yells at him "Get down and dance!" My dad...LAID down on the dance floor and wiggled all over! Everyone was laughing and I was trying my very best to melt into the wall so no one would realize that he was in my family! Looking back on it now, I'd probably do exactly what he did! Life is about having fun. Being smack dab in teenage angst and self esteem issues, I thought I was going to die.'s one of my favorite memories of him. Laughing and 'dancing' on the floor with my mom laughing while rolling her eyes at her silly husband.

I love you and I'm thinking of you.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Alien's Homemade Essay Assignment

My dear youngest son, Alien, has been going through a bit of a rough patch these past few weeks (could be months). Granted, he's 9 years old. He's in the 4th grade. He's a boy. He's also firmly feels that he is the Center Of The Universe and has absolutely no thought to anyone else at this time. No matter if someone is in the middle of a show or a game, when HE wants to watch or play something else. No matter if someone is sound asleep and HE needs to tell them that the dog just did something funny. No matter if...well, you get the picture.

I had finally had my limit the other day and so I told him what I was going to have him do. He had to write a page for me about what a family is, what being in a family means, how has he currently been acting and what was he going to do to be better.

This is what I got: (spelling and syntax is his)

First of all a family has to work together, and not fight and stuff. Help each other, try to be good freinds, be happy, have a happy life.

I have been acting horrible and not acting like a normal person.

I have been screaming, yelling, bosy, mean, not truthful.

I'm NOT going to be screaming, yelling, bosy, mean, I AM going to be truthful, nice, peaceful.

Have I mentioned that he has got a heart of gold and is always the one that notices any little change. I could have fixed my hair different, be wearing a new shirt, have earrings on that I haven't worn in a long while...and HE'S the one that notices. He's the one that runs up to give me a hug first and tell me how much he loves me. He's the one that feels just heart-broken if he thinks he has disappointed me or his dad or his grandparents. He's my wonderful little Alien.

Glad to be working

I've been a nurse for such a long time. It will be 24 years in May. I've been one of the lucky ones that has generally loved what I do most of the time. I have to say though now, I'm even happier that 1. I'm working and 2. I love what I do.

In these times how many of us can say that? I'm blessed and very thankful.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Concession stands

They take a lot of work and cooperation to run. Somehow I ended up saying I'd help get the concession stand ready for the basketball game today and while it was fun, it's a lot of work!

Alien had fun sitting with his friend Emily and starting his endless cycle of munching. It starts innocently enough with a request for root beer.

I'm done though now and back to wonderful laptop and I feel back at home again! Ahh!

Monday, February 9, 2009

The walls have ears

A friend of mine emailed me some jokes today which just cracked me up. Da Man was sitting over at his computer across the room playing hearts, his new game obsession at the moment. I read this particular joke out loud to him.

The Polite way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners , asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table," said the teacher.

Then she asked, "And you, Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

Johnny said, "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine , whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher fainted...

Funny right, I thought so also. I was still enjoying the chuckle when Alien walked up and said he heard that joke and knew what it meant. I tried quickly to distract him with his undone chores, didn't he need a shower, did he have his clothes laid out for tomorrow, oh look, there's Elvis. To no avail. He said, 'shake hands with his dear friend right...the toilet!' Whew...I fainted.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

PeeWee Basketball

This is the story of my youngest son, Alien. Today was his first basketball game EVER. He was pretty nervous and was worried that he wouldn’t know what to do when he got out there but he actually surprised me. Here he is getting to the school gym and making sure his shoes were tight. It’s all about the shoes ya know.

Watching the girls game was quite exciting and they did very well. It was amazing to watch these little girls running around the court and they quite handily won their game. They will start shooting up in size soon but for right now, most of them are still the same size as the boys.

Of course I mentioned that this was (blog fodder) photo documentation of my boys…like I always do. For some reason Magnet thinks he wants to start his own blog also. No no no…not the puppy dog face. I can resist it. I can. I can. Well, maybe I’ll let him.

Alien got some court time and actually had the ball in his hands TWICE during the game. Of course I was bouncing in my seat and didn’t think to get a photo of him at that moment.

We’ll work on trying to break free from defenders later on.

A great time was had by all and then reality set in when we got home and I chased them both out of the house. Either stay out and play or stay in and do chores. I love the peace and quiet that always brings!

Peace out and bunny ears to you all!

Friday, February 6, 2009

What a difference! Woohoo!

Oh yeah, Oh yeah, it is happy dance time here in the land of Kansas Chaos! I thought I loved my job as director of nursing but now that I've resigned from it and worked my first 'regular' night shift, I. Can't. Believe. How. Much. Better. I. Feel. It is amazing! No more last-minute schedule changes to fix, no more 'here is a new regulation' to deal with, no more 'he said, she said'..well, that will always happen but at least now..I don't have to do anything about it! Yoohoo! Weehee! Hippity Doo Daa Cowboy!

This is where I was just a few short days ago..and now I'm freeeee! And doesn't this guy just do the most amazing doodles?! I absoposilutely L O V E his drawings. Go meet the Organized Doodler if you dare! Muahahaha

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Whaddya know! An award!

Thank you very much Staci at The Bliss Of It All for giving me the "Lemonade Award" for attitude/or gratitude. So I'm guessing that means smart alec attitude and gratitude that is just usually there and occasionally even forced! Umm..yeah...sure. That's it.

Here it is:
It is really's my first blog award and it's even kinda surreal to think that I even got one! Thanks again.

Here's the instructions I'm supposed to do now. 1. Put the logo on your blog or post. 2. Nominate at least 8 blogs that show great attitude or gratitude. Link to your nominees within your post. 4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog. 5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received the award. I nominate... Manic Mariah, Chronicles of a Country Girl, Noble Pig, The Rasssbo Life of a Rasssbo Wife (it's my sister, I have to! lol ), Organized Doodles. I'm going to have to work on 3 others and I promise to browse around and find 'em. I'm still new at this blogging thing and haven't surfed nearly enough yet.

In other news, I'm so dang proud of my daughter, Hippie Chick. She has really turned into a lovely young woman and is working hard at becoming an aesthetician/massage therapist. She just received a 97% on her written final and did so well on her clinical facial final that the lady she worked on signed up for 5 more facial (and paid for them) while requesting the Hippie Chick is that one that works on her. How cool is that?! She's already gathering a clientele while she's still a student!

She's got these awesome ideas for using visualization techniques during massage and has even come up with some of her own masks and facial creams using all natural ingredients. I'm telling ya, she's going to be someone to watch out for in the years to come. And she's beautiful inside and out on top of it all! Did I mention how proud I am of her? She's the one on the right..not sure who the friend is.

This one must have been some party she was headed off to. I stole these pictures from her facebook page! hehe

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Making some changes

Ya know, there are times that we just have to do what we just have to do. I've decided to change up my job somewhat. I've been director of nursing for a small-town hospital for 2 years now and it's time for me to step away from that. I'll still be a nurse, don't get me wrong there. I l.o.v.e. being a nurse. I'm good at it. I'm actually quite good at being a DON also but I don't like being the person of last resort that has to work if no one else is able to. There is just a ton of little stresses that are ongoing and lots of fires to be put out at any one time. Part of me really liked that...I liked being the decision maker and 'the buck stops here' kinda person. The part of me that struggles with depression though, has a real hard time of it.

So..I've stepped down from that and will be working 2 night shifts a week (mainly Wed/Thurs.) and will have most weekends off and won't have to work extra if I'm not up to it. Da Man had the suggestion that since I'm a night owl anyway just to adjust my normal hours to sleep from 2am to noon, that way when I work nights I'm just staying up a little later and not really throwing off my rhythm quite so much. I think that is a damn good idea. Not to mention that it will really fit with my natural sleeping tendencies anyway.

I haven't told the kids yet, but honestly, it's going to be an improvement since now I can work 2 days and just be home the rest of the time without the guilt involved about not being at the hospital every day. I'll still have lots of ideas for improvement I'm sure, but now I can just run them past someone else and let them do the major work on it! Woohoo! Unless it is form building...I'm a master form builder! lol

Depression has been kinda kicking my azz here lately also and I'm hoping this will help. Time will tell.

I should ask the organized doodler to make a doodle of me kicking depression's azz for a change! ;)

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Aww...little mousie...

We have mice. I really really wish the kind of mice that we had looked like this. This I could really handle, little mouse giggles and tiny white gloves hanging about.

Or at the very least, looked like this. This one could even bring some buddies along, you know, Mr. Flatscreen Monitor and the CPU gang.

But noooo, one of the ones that we've caught so far kinda looked like this. This one was found in the garage after feasting on some extra Ramen noodles that had been stored out there.

But another one looked more like this. Is this a rough looking mouse or what...I think there is some rat ancestry somewhere. I would have posted a picture of the one that was actually caught but he's somewhere deep in the trash and I drew the line at digging through the trash to be able to put his pic up on my blog! Aren't you glad I'm able to draw the line somewhere?! Me too. Oh..and that bad boy, caught IN THE HOUSE. He'd been trapped behind the refrigerator by my glorious cat so we crammed traps into all the exit spaces and finally got him.

Of course my daughter would have loved them...I think she actually named this hairless rat Thad. I called him Scrot. See why?

As for me, I'm really glad that I have the old fashioned mouse traps and Cupcake..who loves to leave little presents for us.