Monday, February 9, 2009

The walls have ears

A friend of mine emailed me some jokes today which just cracked me up. Da Man was sitting over at his computer across the room playing hearts, his new game obsession at the moment. I read this particular joke out loud to him.

The Polite way to Pee

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners , asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table," said the teacher.

Then she asked, "And you, Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?"

Johnny said, "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine , whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."

The teacher fainted...

Funny right, I thought so also. I was still enjoying the chuckle when Alien walked up and said he heard that joke and knew what it meant. I tried quickly to distract him with his undone chores, didn't he need a shower, did he have his clothes laid out for tomorrow, oh look, there's Elvis. To no avail. He said, 'shake hands with his dear friend right...the toilet!' Whew...I fainted.


brneyedgal967 said...

Bwahahaha - good one. The toilet... priceless.

Snooty Primadona said...

LMAO! Very funny indeed! I would have fainted for sure.

Here's one my daughter sent me:

HTBAPB - you'll see

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused. 'Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress and I'm wearing it,' she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, 'Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.' A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, 'Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it. Her mother just smiled and replied, 'Of course I do, dear.

I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'



My kind of woman!!!! LOL

numberonesistah said...

Ahahahaha! Snooty! That is fantastic!

Dr Zibbs said...

That's a good one!