Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My name is Shawn and I have saggy boobs.

I realize that this is a subject rarely touched on but since this IS the blogging world and NO subject is sacred, I'm gonna touch it.

I've always wanted to be that person that sees the silver lining in all situations. If I can't be that person, then I'll be the person that finds something to laugh about in that situation. So here is the upside of saggy boobs (there's an oxymoron if you've ever heard one!).

  • I can carry an extra book or 3 ring binder when my hands are already full.

  • I can tie my hair back with my breasts when all of my rubber bands have broken.

  • I can truly 'slap someone silly'.

  • I can provide a nice breeze on a hot day for my family just by jumping up and down.

  • I can spin in a circle for a long time due to extra centrifugal force.

  • I can put any baby in the world to sleep just by laying them on my boobs.

Please help me add to this list. We must raise up the moods of big-breasted women everywhere! Let's show them our support!


Snooty Primadona said...

Oh. My. God. I laughed so hard. Now I have to think but I can't when I'm giggling. Ok. Wait.

My boobs once were strictly on the frontal part of my body. Now they extend from the spine. There is no bra for that, trust me.

I see the look in babies' eyes when they see me... I know what they're thinking. "Yum! Who cares if it's Mum?"

I'd go ahead and tie the girls around my head to keep my hair at bay, but I'd only look like the silly rabbit in the Trix commercials...

Well, you did ask!


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The Girl You Don't Bring Home to Momma said...

I can smother you without a pillow.

I can provide milk for your coffee at any given time.

Keeper Of All Things said...

I can stab you on a cold, cold winters day!!!

brneyedgal967 said...


* I can breastfeed a room away.

* I can twirl them like a helicopter blade and clear a path in the snow without using a shovel.

* Numbchucks - hah. Bruce Lee has nothing on me.

Hmmm... my boobs are okay, but the saggy eyelids. Not sure which one I'd choose given the chance.

numberonesistah said...

Oh..I really like the snow clearing idea! I'm going to have to try that one next time it snows.

That numchuck idea is great also. I just dare a mugger to steal from me! Yeah, I said it. I dare ya! Beware the power of the boob!

Jason, as himself said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! That cartoon made me guffaw. Too funny.

I'm personally grateful that I don't have to worry about my boobs being mistaken for nuts.

However, people HAVE mistaken my nuts for saggy boobs.

Anonymous said...
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Mariah said...

You can dust the floor just by walking around if you attach a rag to your nipples. Just sayin'

Saundra@ItalianMamaGoneCrazy said...

I can hide an entire
OVER 3 OZ TUBE OF ANYTHING under one and get through airport security with more shampoo than anyone else!!!

Thanks for following me!

Where did you get that picture of me and may boobs?

Stacey said...

Who took my picture?

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